How Books Work: Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, by Lundy Bancroft

In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I’d like to talk about a self-help book which is dear to my heart: Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, by domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft.

I first stumbled across this book in 2021, when I bought a copy for a friend of mine who was struggling to leave an abusive boyfriend. Since then, I have recommended this book to many friends, and am constantly giving copies away to anyone I think it will help.

I became a self-help editor and ghostwriter because I’m fascinated by books that can change readers’ lives or even save their lives. I have no doubt that Why Does He Do That? has reduced the amount of suffering in the world, and helped countless people escape from physically and/or emotionally abusive relationships.

So how did Bancroft write such an extraordinary, life-changing book?

1. Deep knowledge of his subject matter

   First of all, Bancroft is truly an expert in his field. Far from generalizing from his own experience, he draws on years of research and a long career working with abusive men and their partners. The information in Why Does He Do That? is based on sound psychological research, not guesses and hunches.

2. Clear guidance

   Bancroft lays out the traits and behavioral patterns of abusers, and tackles myths about abuse in a step-by-step fashion. Readers who may be confused about whether their partner is abusive will find the tools they need to assess their situation with confidence, and find actionable advice they can put into practice right away.

3. Boxes and lists

   Why Does He Do That? is packed with information which could easily become overwhelming. Bancroft keeps things simple by summarizing key points in the form of easy-to-read boxes and lists: for example, the warning signs of abuse and the core attitudes of people who abuse others. He also includes end-of-chapter summaries to help readers retain what they have learned.

4. Sound structure

   Bancroft’s book is split into five parts, each of which contains three to five chapters with clear, informative titles. These chapters follow a logical order, while giving readers the option of skipping chapters that don’t apply to their situation (for example, children or divorce). Readers can easily find the information they’re looking for, in an order that makes sense.

5. Clear target audience

   Although Bancroft acknowledges that people of any gender can be abusive or suffer abuse, and that abuse can take place in many contexts outside of romantic relationships, he focuses on women being abused by their male partners. This gives the book a tight focus and urgency that might be diluted by expanding its scope.

   I hope that everyone who needs this book finds it—and I hope that other self-help authors can follow Lundy Bancroft’s example in creating books that are specific, targeted, compassionate, and grounded in research.

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